Wednesday, 21 October 2009

funny love sms forever

I am yours,
You are mine..

I promise that I’ll be here
FOREVER..

beside you,
loving you..

because no one can love me most,
none but YOU..

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

School Joke for Kids

The Letter D Pulls Out LETTER D PULLS SPONSORSHIP FROM SESAME STREET Noted Consonant Alienated By Controversial New Gay Muppet NEW YORK--A spokesperson for the letter D announced Monday that the consonant is withdrawing sponsorship from Sesame Street following a Children's Television Workshop announcement that a homosexual muppet will soon join the show's cast. 'The letter D is proud to have brought you many wonderful Sesame Street episodes throughout the program's 28-year history, ' said Patricia Willis, public-relations director for D. 'But the letter D does not condone the sort of morally questionable lifestyles that Sesame Street is advocating with the introduction of this new character. It can no longer in good conscience associate itself with the show. ' Willis said D's withdrawal is effective immediately, and applies to both capital and lower-case versions of the letter.

The gay muppet, 'Bruce, ' will be introduced on Sesame Street Dec. '23

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Monday, 19 October 2009

funny english love sms

I Will Wait …

Till The Day  “I” Can Forget “You” …

Or

The Day You Realize “You” Cannot Forget “Me” ..

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Sunday, 18 October 2009

Funny jokes for Kids Joke

Q: What does a lion brush his mane with?
A: A catacomb!


Q: What noise does a cat make going down the highway?
A: Miaooooooooooooooooooow!


Q: What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
A: Shredded tweet!


Q: Why do tomcats fight?
A: Because they like raising a stink!


Q: Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit?
A: They are both ginger nuts!


Q: What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea?
A: A catameringue!


Q: On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A: A caterpillar!


Q: What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese?
A: A Peking Tom!

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Sunday, 11 October 2009

Sardarji calls Air India

Sardarji calls Air India.

"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"

"Just a sec," says the receptionist. 


"Thank you." says the Sardar and hangs up.

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Saturday, 10 October 2009

Sardarji funny sms - i love u sister

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.

He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....
 

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Friday, 9 October 2009

Surdar waiter chicken funny joke

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chicken, Waiter comes with the order, 

Surdar: Murgi di taang kithe hai? 

Waiter:Woh langra tha. 

Surdar: Dil? 

Waiter: Dil murgi le gayee. 

Surdar: Dimaag? 

Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha!



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Santa Singh dancing at mayyat

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. 

All the sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general
'balle balle' is on.The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. 


So one of them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?;.....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!;
 

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Thursday, 8 October 2009

Hindi joke QURBAANI - kya dekhte ho

Remember the song KYA DEKHTE HO from the film QURBAANI (1980)


A Girl who is being gazed at by an eve-teaser asks the eve-teaser

The Girl : " KYA DEKHTE HO ? "

Eve-Teaser : " SURAT TUMHAARI"

The Girl : " KYA KHAAOGE ? "

Eve-Teaser : " SANDAL TUMHAARI "

The Girl : " NAA HUM JO KEHDEIN "

Eve-Teaser : " KEH NAA SAKOGI "

The Girl : "LAGTI NAHIN THEEK KISMAT TUMHAARI


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funny sms nurse baby and mobile

New born baby to nurse : Do you have mobile?

Nurse : Yes, but why?

Baby : Send SMS to God that I reach safely and ask him to send my Girlfriend soon.


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Santa and Banta Priest Jokes

Each and every Friday night after work, Santa Singh would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbors were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest.

The Priest came to visit Santa, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Santa attended Mass ... and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Sikh, and raised a Sikh, but now dear, you are a Catholic."

Santa's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.
The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and, as he rushed into Santa's backyard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement.


There stood Santa, holding a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats and chanted:  "Oye, you waz born a chicken, and you waz born a lamb, you waz raised a chicken, and you waz raised a lamb
but now dears.... you are a potato and tomato"!!!


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Tom and Jerry Jokes Marry me




One Day Tom and Jerry were gone to visit Thailand 




Tom asked Jerry "Will you marry me ?"


Jerry Slapped Tom and said "U R CAT and I am MOUSE... How can we marry?"

is this a Funny Joke ? reply by post



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Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Anniversary joke Bill and Hillary

Anniversary : When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, “I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it.”

In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked.

However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside.

In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash.

After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, “I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in.

But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?”


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married couple jokes on relatives

A married couple have been driving in the country without speaking for half an hour, an earlier argument having led to the frosty atmosphere.

As they pass a field full of pigs, the husband sarcastically asks, “Relatives of yours?”
 

“Yep,” the wife replies, “In-laws.”


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Funny Jokes Sardarji and American

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.


The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

customer distributor jokes

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, 'We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one.

The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, 'Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long. '
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Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Post vacant Girl friend - Interesting application

Hi,

Due to  recession, I had to leave my Girlfriend (as part of my cost cutting efforts). I  need a new one now, so pass on this information to your female  friends.

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and  incentives are mentioned below:

Designation : Junior girl friend  (trainee)
Experience : Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with  excellent credentials will be considered)
Other requirement : Should have the  Potential to do street bargaining and fight if required.
Age: 18-23 (if the  individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special  consideration will undertaken for them)
Height, weight, complexions no bar,  but is subjective.

Perks and incentives:
Total gross ( Monthly  ) :
• 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000/-(no precious metals, stones)
•  Bike rides each duration 1 hour
• Trips to National Highways
• Kulfis /  Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
• Daily Provision of Samosa/Bread  Pakoda/Bhel worth Rs. 10 /-
• 2 movies per month (on weekends)
• Visits to  Shopping Malls and BARISTA every weekend (On your own expense)

A Pair of  Jeans or T-shirts according to demand (not exceed one per quarter) will be  gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the  shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and Un-professional  taxes will be informed on joining.
The probation period is 6 months, after  which confirmation (with Promotion to fulltime Girlfriend)

Please  NOTE:
1. Only females.
2. Girls who left in the last 2 months need not  apply.
3. Ex-girlfriends are NOT eligible at all.

There is  more:
For girls who are not eligible, can take advantage of the referral  program by referring their friends, colleagues etc.
Candle light/Tube light  dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.  
Search never ends!!

Interested candidates can send their resume  with

Subject:  Name/fresher-exp/age.
Photo must be attached in the email
Note:  Applications without photo will be rejected.


funny jokes love poem

Love is the greatest feeling, Love is like a play,
Love is what I feel for you, Each and every day,
Love is like a smile,
Love is like a song,
Love is a great emotion,
That keeps us going strong,
I love you with my heart, My body and my soul,
I love the way I keep loving,
Like a love I can't control,
So remember when your eyes meet mine,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start.

Monday, 5 October 2009

Lalu mayawati non veg jokes

Mayawati and Lalu were sitting inside a hospital.

Mayawati was crying loudly.

Lalu asked "Why" ?

Mayawati: They will cut my finger for medical blood test.

Hearing this Lalu started crying even louder. 

Mayawati asked "Why" ?

Lalu: I have come for my urine test.

Laloo Rabri Jokes

Laloo and his wife Rabri were angry with each other and were not talking to each other.

Laloo left a note on Rabri's bedside table, that said:  
"Dear Wife! Awake me at 5 am tomorrow."
 
Next morning, Laloo awoke at 8 am and saw a note on his bedside table: 
"Dear Husband It's 5 O' Clock, get up.

i love you romantic jokes

Girlfriend: I can't marry you. I am one year elder to you.
 
Boyfriend: Very Good, I love you so much that I can wait for you for one year.

i love you romantic jokes submitted by Funny Joker

funny sms sorry wrong number

If u care 4 me, i care 4 u,

if u miss me, i miss u

if u like me, i like u,

if u msg me, i msg u

if u forget me, i'm sorry this is where i'm different from u!

if U got style, u got the intelligence and u sure got the body.

Wait. Sorry, wrong number!

IDIOT long form joke

U are... I. D. I. O. T.

I = Intelligent

D = Decent

I = Impressive

O = Optimistic

T = Talented

R u smily now?

* YOU IDIOT*

hindi sms funny sms

U R the sweetest person, i have ever met. Yakin nahi hota..... na?


Chand Sitaron ki kasam!


0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O
0O0


0O0O0O0O0O0O00OO0O0O
00O


O0O0O00O000000000OO0
O0O


Yeh saare chand sitare kahan gayab ho gaye....

sardarji and virgin jokes

sardarji marries a girl. It's the second night after the marriage, when suddenly the silence is broken by the sound of a gunshot from the bedroom of the newly-weds. People run up to the room and are wondering what happened.

The sardarji says with anger: "I killed my wife!" ..."But why?"

"Because she wasn't a virgin."

"But sardarji this is your second nightý why didn't you do something yesterday."

"Last night she was a virgin!"

female teacher joke on assignment

Nice website for funny jokes :

Young female teacher giving an assignment to her Grade 5 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard.

Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class.She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat?" "Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters." "Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days." The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title theassignment;

she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an evenlouder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funnyBilly?" "Well miss, I just saw both of your garters." Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom!" This time the punishment is more severe,"I don't want to see you for three weeks."

Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the class room." Where do you think you are going?" she asks. "Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over!"

Sunday, 4 October 2009

sardarji plan to go at sun

2 Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were talking about the American Astronauts.

One said to the other, "What's the big deal about going to the moon-anybody can go to the moon.

We are sardars we will go direct to the sun. "" But if we get within 13 million miles from the sun, we'll melt."

And the first answered, "So what, we'll go at night."

Friday, 2 October 2009

Funny SMS - upgrade your brain

Funny SMS

We will now upgrade your brain,

please wait....

Searching....

searching...

still searching....

sorry, NO BRAIN found...!

Thursday, 1 October 2009

wife dream and husband

Husband and Wife Jokes

Wife : I dreamed you gave me $500 for summer clothes last night. You wouldn’t spoil that dream, would you, Dear?

Husband : Of course not, Darling. You may keep the $500


husband joke on age

At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little to give.
At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious.
At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy.
At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once in a year.
At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and cheap

who is smart husband or wife


A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." She did and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there is a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, and women will flock to him."

The woman replied, " That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman, and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she became the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world, and he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, " That's okay because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM she became the richest woman in the world!

The frog asked her what she would like for her third wish. She said, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.