Thursday, 29 January 2015

Loose Pussy

Comedy Joke Title:Loose Pussy
Joke Description:

Three ladies walk into a bar, each sits on a stool. All start
chattering, you know girl talk. Then, one says, "my pussy's so
loose my boyfriend can stick his fist up it." The second says,
"my pussy's so loose, my boyfriend can stick both of his fist in
mine." The third lady laughs and slides down the bar stool.


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The Strength Of 100 Men

Comedy Joke Title:The Strength Of 100 Men
Joke Description:

Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said,
"Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a
match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get
you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"

The wrestler nodded in agreement.

Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several
times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward,
grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold!

A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his
face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.

Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised
his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back
hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him,
getting the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he
asked, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"

The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that
hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right
in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of
strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.
You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"


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Todas las ma?anas una monjita

Comedy Joke Title:Todas las ma?anas una monjita
Joke Description:

Todas las ma?anas una monjita iba por el parque caminando junto a un grupo de pupilas, cuando de repente divis? a la distancia a un hombre acostado en el piso completamente desnudo. Ella pens? que sus alumnas no deb?an ver ese cuadro y decidi? sacrificar su pudor, sent?ndose sobre el hombre y cubri?ndolo con su h?bito. Al rato de estar sentada, se sinti? "iluminada" y as? les dec?a:

Ay Santa Rosa, como se llama esta cosa.

Ay San Arturo, parece que algo est? duro.

Ay San Fernando, siento algo que est? entrando.

Ay San Vicente, es algo caliente.

Ay San Benito, esto si que es bonito.

Ay San Rolando, siento que me estoy mojando.

Ay Santo Tom?s, ya no aguanto m?s.

Ay Santa Eternidad, perd? la virginidad.

Ay San Clemente, que no se entere la gente.

Ay San Pancracio, que me lo saque despacio.

Ay Madre Amada, ?No quedar? pre?ada?

Ay San Formento, ?no vuelvo m?s al Convento!


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Blind, Blonde, & Ballsy

Comedy Joke Title:Blind, Blonde, & Ballsy
Joke Description:

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna
hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde. The man behind me
is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde.
The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde
joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to
have to explain it five times."


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I feel good. I lost 20 pounds on the that...

Comedy Joke Title:I feel good. I lost 20 pounds on the that...
Joke Description:

I feel good. I lost 20 pounds on the that deal-a-meal plan. Not that
Richard Simmons plan. This is where you play cards, lose, and don't have
enough cash to eat.

- John McDowell


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Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Yo mama is so fat

Comedy Joke Title:Yo mama is so fat
Joke Description:

Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.


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Ur momma was so fat

Comedy Joke Title:Ur momma was so fat
Joke Description:

that the last time she saw 98765 was on the scale


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