This is a long one so I apologise now!
3 men die and go to heaven. At the gates, they meet St Peter who tells them
'Before you come in here, you have to answer one question. According to how you answer the question you will get a mode of transport. The mode of transport you have determines your status in heaven, do you understand?'
'yes' answer the men
'ok' says Peter and he turns to the first man. 'Tell me truthfully, how many times have you had an affair???'
'Well' said the first man 'I must admit I've had an affair 5 times'
'You get a bicycle then' said Peter and off the man goes into heaven
The second man answers, 'I've had an affair 2 times' and so he gets a mini and goes off into heaven
Finally the last man answers 'I can honestly say I have never had an affair in my life, I love my wife' and so he gets a brand new bmw and goes off into heaven.
A time later, the first man sees the last man sat next to his brand new bmw crying.
'What could possibly be wrong, you have this wonderfull car?' asks the first man.
'It's not that, I think that's great' says the man crying, 'it's just that I've just seen my wife go by on a skateboard!'
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