Red Neck on the Jury
A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a red neck was on the jury and figured he wo…
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Thrown out of the lab
Top ways to get thrown out of chemistry lab10. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.9. Give a cup …
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DADDY DADDY!
An eight year old boy comes home from school and says "Daddy! Daddy! What is the difference between a pussy and a cunt?" The dad says, &quo…
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There's a woman and two
There's a woman and two men. The woman says she is the most beatiful person in the world. The first man says that he is the strongest man on th…
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A redneck and the squirl on the chickens back
Well a red neck likes to stand beside the highway a lot and a few weeks ago he saw a squirl on a chikens back crossing the road and asked him why he …
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Brunette on the traintracks
A brunette was on some train tracks jumping up and down saying,"14, 14, 14..." A blonde walked up and asked, "What are you doing?&qu…
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Man from Bandoo
There once was a man from Bandoo Who fell asleep in a canoe He dreamed of Venus And played with his penis And woke up with a hand full of goo����…
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Question: Why did the chicken run away from...
Question: Why did the chicken run away from home? Answer: It was Friday
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Q: How many editors
Q: How many editors does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Only one, but first they have to rewire the entire building.
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Late again
Mummy was telling little Sadie a story about a witch who arrived at a hotel without her broom because the broom was late. ?Why was the broom late, …
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Trying to get Pregnant...
The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family. "We've…
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Husband that Works at Microsoft
Three women are sitting in a bar talking about their love lives. The first one says, "My husband is an architect. When we make love it has pow…
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Happy ever after
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party w…
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"Oye mam?, ?por qu? mi
"Oye mam?, ?por qu? mi pap? tiene tan poco pelo?" "Es que tu pap? es muy inteligente y siempre est? pensando." "Y entonc…
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Only when drunk
A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place... Man: 'What's the problem officer?' O…
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Obey the speed limit
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH.He thinks to h…
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Q. What has seventy-five balls
Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies? A. Bingo!
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On the lawn
A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a nude couple making love out on the…
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Is There a Santa Claus? An Engineering Analysis
As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990) - I am ple…
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Neighbour's surprise
John comes home from holidays and almost immediately has another confrontation with his neighbour and long time enemy. Later, inside and unpacking,…
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More Monica Jokes!
Q: What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us? A: In order for us to get some dick in the White House, we had to go out an…
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Y2K Potential POSITIVE side effect
Re: Vacation Pay Date: January 5, 2000Dear Valued Employee:Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 102 year(s). …
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What this One Blonde Did...
I know this blonde that's so dumb... She thinks Boyz2Men is a daycare center, She thinks a quarterback is a refund, She tripped over the co…
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Girlfriend 1.0 Upgrades
Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend3.1 to GirlFriendPlus1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee1.0 to Wife1.0 and it&…
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There was this flight attendant that was so...
There was this flight attendant that was so stupid the other ones noticed...
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Skipped Church Lately?
One day this Preacher decided that he would skip church and go hunting. When in the woods he came upon a bear. He started running, and he ran for a …
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Bumper Stickers For Women
1. So many men, so few who - can afford me. 2. God made us sisters, Prozac made us friends. 3. If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain…
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Country girl
this guy walks up to a girl and ask if she was raised on a farm and she said no he said u must of been cause you shur can raise a cock good!
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Mars and Venus
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing.…
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According to the Washington Times (7/2/97)...
According to the Washington Times (7/2/97) when a Virginia High School student exposed mice to hard rock music 10 hours a day for three weeks, thei…
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Farm Trucks
Why Farm Trucks Are Never StolenThey have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of gas.Only the owner knows how to op…
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Moving Out from the Ex
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.…
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Clumsy Waitress
A man walked into a restaurant and seated himself. Soon, the waitress came over to take his order. "... and, what would you like to drink?&q…
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Q: How many neural
Q: How many neural nets does it take to change a light bulb ?A: f'(x) = delta Sum log (HOUSE) / d(HOUSE)
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Frog Princess
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to comp…
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Stevie Wonder's Wife
Q. Have u ever saw Stevie Wonders wife? A. No PUNCHLINE: Neither has he.
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Sex Education
Grandma, who was living with her daughter's family, let her 11-year-old grandson in from school. "What did you learn today?" she asked.…
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Fun Things to Do in a Hardware Store
Unroll the 100 metre tape measure to "make sure it's all there". Ask other shoppers to hold bits down "Just there, no there by t…
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The inventor of
The inventor of the airplane borarding ramp has died at age 85. Funeral seating will begin half an hour before the service, with preferential treatme…
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Se despierta un d?a en
Se despierta un d?a en la ma?ana una se?ora y se espanta al ver que tiene una teta que le llega hasta el ombligo. Consternada se dirige con su m?dico…
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Men always miss them.
Q. What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? A. Men always miss them.
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The "real story" of the three bears..
It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest, and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the tab…
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