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The Top 14 Signs Your SUV Is Too Damn Big (Part I)

14> Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."

13> Before go you out, you have to file for a parade permit.

12> You're the first one in your neighborhood to own a 2004 Halliburton-Savior S-Class.

11> It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into its orbit.

10> There are two successful Starbucks franchises located in the back seat.

9> It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.

8> It's great for soccer moms, since the back seat folds down into an entire field, complete with goals.

7> You need a Sherpa and an oxygen tank to reach the driver's seat.

6> Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.

5> Mortgage payment = $2200. Texaco card payment = $2201.

4> When you pull up to the pharmacy window, they already have the package of extra small condoms bagged and ready to go.

3> You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be dismantled immediately.

2> Due to new military intel that has narrowed the search down to the inside of your vehicle, President Bush remains confident that Osama Bin Laden will someday be found.

1> The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]

[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]




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