Jokes on Word Definations

NEW	Different color from previous design
ALL NEW	Parts not interchangeable with previous design
EXCLUSIVE	Imported product
UNMATCHED	Almost as good as the competition
DESIGNED SIMPLICITY	Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone
FOOLPROOF OPERATION	No provision for adjustments
ADVANCED DESIGN	The advertising agency doesn't understand it
IT'S HERE AT LAST!	Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
FIELD-TESTED	Manufacturer lacks test equipment
HIGH ACCURACY	Unit on which all parts fit
DIRECT SALES ONLY	Factory had big argument with distributor
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT	We finally got one that works
REVOLUTIONARY	It's different from our competitors
BREAKTHROUGH	We finally figured out a way to sell it
FUTURISTIC	No other reason why it looks the way it does
DISTINCTIVE	A different shape and color than the others
MAINTENANCE-FREE	Impossible to fix
RE-DESIGNED	Previous faults corrected, we hope...
HAND-CRAFTED	Assembly machines operated without gloves
PERFORMANCE PROVEN	Will operate through the warranty period
MEETS ALL STANDARDS	Ours, not yours