Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here?
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a train. Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first? Patient: Well... The bad news first...
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them. Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.
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