Joke Description:
Does this ring true to you? Maybe you have to be from North
Jersey for some of these... You know you're from Jersey
when......
- You refer to the beach as the shore.
- You know what a Wawa is, and you know the location of at least
5 of them.
- You don't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners
elsewhere in the country.
- You can name all the flavors of salt water taffy.
- You've run out of money on the Parkway.
- You still haven't seen that many gardens.
- You still can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.
- There are no self-serve gas stations.
- You know what a "jug handle" is.
- You only go to the "City" for day trips.
- Route 18 doesn't freak you out at night.
- You believe the Statue of Liberty is in NJ.
- You don't take any shit from anybody especially people from
New York and Philly, because you live here for Christ's sake and
just who the hell do they think they are anyway? Invading our
beaches and bars, they are just here for the damn summer and
they think they own the place.
- At least three people in your family still listen to Bruce
"The Boss" Springsteen and actually seen him play with the
E-Street band in the Stone Pony down in Asbury.
- You know Paramus has 4 major malls within 3 miles of each
other.
- You have mandatory recycling enforced by law.
- You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in NJ
if the Nets didn't suck."
- You have nearly been run over by a TramCar in Wildwood.
- You have a grandparent who didn't move to Florida and retired
in Cape May, Ocean Grove, Brick, or Toms River.
- Donald Trump is mentioned daily in your local newspaper.
- Your school actually made good Italian subs.
- The Jets/Giants game has started fights in your family.
- You have been waiting the last 10 years for the Yankees to
move to the Meadowlands.
- You own an annual pass to Great Adventure and you had to take
the monkey by-pass at the Safari cause your dad had padded-vinyl
roof on his car.
- You say "water" weird.
- Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in April.
- You know that ACME is a supermarket, not just a Warner Bros
creation.
- Because your town was founded before 1776, all restaurants,
bars and shops have 'ye', 'olde', or 'colonial' in their names.
- You know the myth of the New Jersey devil and you think it
lives as Gov. Christie Todd Whitman. (Whitman IS the devil.)
- You think the Olive Garden is crap and should never have
opened in NJ.
- You remember when Hoboken was a ghetto not overpriced.
- There is a fruit and veggie stand down the road.
- You like vinegar or gravy on your french fries.
- You think a mountain is that big freakin' hill in Atlantic
Highlands.
- You know Asbury Park is no longer the Mecca of East Coast
resort towns.
- Even though there's a new Wal-Mart in your town, you still go
to the Englishtown Auction for cheap stuff.
- You buy Shop-Rite brand food at Shop-Rite.
- You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle
- You know what skeeball is and you can get three 50's in a row.
- You're Italian.
- You know where to get the best bagel.
- You've lived through hurricanes, nor'Easters and fires, but
have never seen a tornado, earthquake, tsunami or volcano.
- You've eaten a pork roll and cheese on a hard roll...and like
it.
- You go to at least one parade at the boardwalk each year.
- You can go bowling at 1:30 A.M. (with automatic scoring)!
- In high school, you worked at a Friendly's.
- You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.
- You once said, "It smells like New York in here,"
- You've waited for the goddamn drawbridge for more than 20 damn
minutes.
- "Anyone who makes bad pizza can go to hell" is your attitude.
- You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "damn"
while driving.
- You've gone to the racetrack with twenty different daily
double bets from twenty different people
- You know that there are bakeries, which are not part of a
supermarket, but actual individual stores.
- You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast.
- One time, a sea gull shit on your head.
- You've eaten at a Windmill, drunk off your ass, at 3am at
least a dozen times.
- You've planned a local trip around ensuring you pass at least
one Dunkin' Donuts.
- You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges"
- You know that it's called "Great Adventure"... not "Six
Flags", dammit!
- When people ask you where you live, you tell them your
Parkway/Turnpike exit number.
- You watched "Mall rats" and said, "I've been to that mall!"
- At least half the people you knew in high school went to
Rutgers.
- Your big class trip in elementary school was to Morristown.
- You long for the days when the Devils wore Christmas colors.
- You know that the only people that call it "Joisey" are from
New York.
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